here's a sweet picture of her bathing me :)
i was beyond blessed to have mimi. c.s. lewis describes the process of missing someone you loved in such a beautiful way:
"i have no photograph of her that's any good. i cannot even see her face distinctly in my imagination. yet the odd face of some stranger seen in a crowd this morning may come before me in vivid perfection the moment i close my eyes tonight. no doubt, the explanation is simple enough. we have seen the faces of those we know best so variously, from so many angles, in so many lights, with so many expressions - waking sleeping, laughing, crying, eating, talking, thinking - that all the impressions crowd into our memory together and cancel out into a mere blur. but her voice is still vivid. the remembered voice - that can turn me at any moment to a whimpering child." a grief observed
i see mimi in other people sometimes, maybe because i want to; maybe because i miss her especially so that day; maybe because i don't really like the finality of her absence. she's not coming back in this life, though. i know i'm going to face more heartbreaking deaths in my life - that's the sucky part of life i literally loathe, but i completely believe there's more after death. she's with Jesus. that's beautiful to me. i can't even fathom - she's face-to-face with the One who's made any part of me substantial. mmmhmm. this is therapeutic to me, so thanks for reading. it's like my insignificant little tribute to a woman i loved more than i know how to say.
holding her hand for the last several days of her life is something i'm so grateful for - precious moments i'll never forget. i know this is intimate, but sharing it keeps her alive to me in some ways. i can remember her squeezing my hand and the smell of her lotion. goodness.
12.18.36 - 06.06.09
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